Howard the Duck (1986)
Tim Robbins: Phil Blumburtt
Photos
Quotes
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[Howard and Phil have landed in a pond]
Howard T. Duck : Philsy, help! Philsy, help me!
Phil Blumburtt : Never heard of a duck that couldn't swim.
Howard T. Duck : Shut up and save me!
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Phil Blumburtt : DUCK!
Howard T. Duck : And proud of it!
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Phil Blumburtt : Howard, in prehistoric times you flew. Fly, Howard! Find your instincts, trust your birdness, FLY!
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Phil Blumburtt : [working on the ultralight] Did you find the toolbox?
Howard T. Duck : Yeah, I know why you want a toolbox - you got a screw loose.
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Phil Blumburtt : Get out of there. Duck!
Howard T. Duck : And proud of it.
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Phil Blumburtt : Hi, sorry I missed the show. I came to watch you undress though and I brought a pizza.
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Phil Blumburtt : I've already got a theory.
Beverly : What theory?
Phil Blumburtt : Well, this is, of course, the evolutionary ladder showing how man progressed from monkey to me, for instance.
Howard T. Duck : You consider that progress? Jeez, you're all hairless apes? That's really disgusting.
Phil Blumburtt : Now, I want you both to imagine, somewhere in the universe, is Howard's world. Picture it, in your mind, a world almost exactly like ours except the progenitor of the dominant species was not a monkey - but, a duck!
Howard T. Duck : Sound theory. Every school duck knows this stuff!
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Phil Blumburtt : [With Beverly in tow, a depressed Howard exits the museum where Phil works] ... Beverly! Howard, wait! Come on, don't flutter off in a huff. Listen, I've got some important matters to clean up here...
Dr. Chapin : [from back in the museum] Blumburtt! Did you hear what I said?
Phil Blumburtt : ...I'll call you tonight.
Dr. Chapin : Blumburtt, I want you back in here! Now!
Phil Blumburtt : I'll figure out a way to help Howard, I swear. Just don't show him to anybody else...
Howard T. Duck : I understand, Phil; it's the thought that counts...
[notices a young couple on the street]
Howard T. Duck : ... They look hungry; get 'em a banana.
Phil Blumburtt : Hide him, Beverly! Take him to a movie or something!
Howard T. Duck : That sounds like an idea. What's playing?
Beverly : Look, Howard, I didn't know where else to go for help.
Howard T. Duck : Your hand still beats mine; I'm not sure where to go, period.
Dr. Chapin : BLUMBURTT! WHERE ARE YOU? INSIDE!
Phil Blumburtt : Coming, coming!
Beverly : Howard, are you sure you're okay?
Howard T. Duck : Of course; why shouldn't I be? I only got blasted jillions of miles through space, ended up on another planet, and was just given an IQ test by a janitor. Hasn't everybody had at least one day like that?
Beverly : Look, you may be trapped in a world you never made; but, to put it philosophically, who isn't? Heck, *I* didn't make this world either. If I had, my whole career wouldn't be falling apart.
Howard T. Duck : ...Touche, Bev. How's this for a deal: I fix your career, you fix my life. Sound fair?
[several children laughingly rush Howard, with their Teacher in tow]
Teacher : Look at this wonderful exhibit!
Howard T. Duck : EXHIBIT? Nice. For a minute, I thought you were gonna call me a freak or an outcast... like in *The Elephant Duck*! Now THERE was a downer.
Teacher : It's so lifelike and realistic.
Howard T. Duck : I cannot begin to tell you how right-at-home that makes me feel.