Honey, I Blew Up the Kid (1992)

Rick Moranis: Wayne

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Quotes 

• Diane : I don't understand any of this.

  Wayne : Around every electrical operating device, there's a flux. Like an electromagnetic force field.

  Clifford Sterling : That's what's causing the baby to grow.

  Marshall Brooks : Would this electromagnetic... would it surround neon lights too?

  Wayne : Yeah, why?

  Marshall Brooks : Your kid. He's heading toward Las Vegas.

  Diane , Wayne , Clifford Sterling : Uh-oh.

• Wayne : You think I'm just some guy from Fresno who tinkered with crack pot ideas in his attic? Well let me tell you something, this country was built on the shoulders of people who tinkered with crack pot ideas in their attics, basements and backyards. Alexander Graham Bell worked in a two room flat!

  Clifford Sterling : Young man, don't presume to stand there and lecture me about great minds and great inventors. In all my years I've never worked with anyone who is a fool and I don't intend to start now. So, Charles, you're fired.

  Dr. Charles Hendrickson : What?

  Clifford Sterling : You're fired! So, Szalinski, what is your plan to get your kid back to normal by bed time?

• Diane : [smiles]  Sweetheart, you can tell me. How bad can it be?

  [kisses him] 

  Diane : After all, it's not like you did something to one of the kids again.

  [Wayne goes nervous then chuckles] 

  Diane : [frowns]  Wayne, where is Adam?

  Wayne : Well, uh...

  Diane : [raises her voice]  Who is that man in the van? And where did this bunny come from!

  Wayne : Alright, I confess, I did it!

  Diane : Did what?

  Adam : [comes on before her eyes]  PEEKABOO!

  [Adam knocks on the door] 

  Wayne : I blew up the baby!

  [Diane faints] 

  Adam : Mama fall down! Mama!

  Nick : [appears from behind Adam]  How'd she take it?

  Wayne : About like usual.

  Adam : Mama sleeping?

• Dr. Charles Hendrickson : [after Adam is back to normal size, to Wayne]  Well, Szalinski, you pulled it off. Who would have thought?

  Diane : Dr. Hendrickson, that looked like some sort of rifle that you were shooting at my baby.

  Dr. Charles Hendrickson : They were tranquilizer cartridges. They wouldn't have hurt him, I assure you.

  Diane : Oh...

  [turns to Wayne and Clifford] 

  Diane : [does not buy it]  Tranquilizer cartridges.

  [Diane slugs Charles knocking him unconscious making him fall on the street] 

  Wayne : [to Adam]  Never cross Mommy.

  Clifford Sterling : We got an emergency here! Dr. Hendrickson needs help. He's overcome with the prospect of having to find a new career.

• Wayne : Oh, my god. Honey, I shrunk the kids.

• Wayne : We're his parents, we'll handle this. Diane, how do we handle this?

• Nick : Dad, were you ever popular in school?

  Wayne : You bet. I was president of the astronomy club three years in a row. We were happenin' guys.

• Diane : Why are you closing the shutters?

  Wayne : So one of the neighbors doesn't look in, see a 7 foot baby, and call the National Enquirer.

  Adam Szalinski : [hears the doorbell ringing]  Doorbell!

  Diane : Who's that?

  Wayne : One of the neighbors.

  Diane : [sarcastically]  So far your plan has been working perfectly.

• [after Wayne finds Nick and Mandy in the shrunken car] 

  Wayne : Found them. I think we'd better give them a while though.

• Wayne : Mr. Sterling, sir, I can return my son back to normal!

  Clifford Sterling : You can?

  Dr. Charles Hendrickson : With what, Szalinski? Coca Cola bottles? Perhaps some chewing gum and twine?

  Diane : Just who do you think you are talking to him like that?

  Wayne : Diane, let me handle this. Who do you think you are talking to me like that?

• Diane : Just who do you think you are talking to him like that?

  Wayne : Diane, let me handle this. Who do you think you are talking to me like that?

• [Wayne drives Nick and Adam back home looking worried after failing to return Adam to normal] 

  Nick : [about Dr. Hendrickson]  Why didn't you tell him, dad? I mean, at least then they'd know that you were able to make it work when nobody else could.

  Wayne : [sternly]  Look, Nick, remember we made you kids promise never, ever to tell anyone you were accidentally shrunk and lost for two days?

  Nick : Yeah.

  Wayne : That's because we didn't want you guys to become specimens, to undergo countless tests, to go through endless observations and who knows what else!

  Nick : What about Adam? What are we going to do?

  Wayne : I don't know. What I do know is... we got to figure out some way fix this before your mother gets home.

  [as they pull into the driveway, they see that Diane is already home] 

  Diane : [waves]  Hi, guys, I'm home!

  [Wayne goes stunned as she sees her holding Adam's big bunny] 

  Diane : Where'd this come from?

  [Wayne immediately drives away almost hitting a car]