Scrubs (2001–2010)
Robert Maschio: Todd Quinlan
Photos
Quotes
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Random Nurse : You know doctor, I'm getting a little tired of your sexual innuendo.
Todd : In your endo.
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Todd : Why won't any women talk to me?
Attractive nurse : Because you're slimy and you turn everything into a double entendre.
Todd : I do not.
[Attractive nurse leaves, Todd stares at Turk]
Chris Turk : Go ahead.
Todd : I'd like to double her entendre.
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Janitor : Ok, look. Attention, roof poopers! Setting aside for a moment the fact that I'm gonna make sure you all live to regret this day - let's keep the magic rolling. Let's not tell anyone else there is a toilet on the roof...
[Todd enters]
Janitor : ...there is NOT a toilet on the roof!
Todd : But you just said there was!
Janitor : No, yes, I did, but I was using a metaphor- that means God is watching us. You heard this... there's a toilet... on the roof. Am I right, people?
[Bystanders agree]
Todd : Cool.
[Makes cross sign and leaves]
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[the Todd has farted earlier in the O.R]
Todd : Dr. Wen threatened to sew my butt cheeks together.
Chris Turk : And yet you continue to eat chili.
Todd : Dude I'm takin' the cheese off.
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Todd : [Todd is playing Pacman] Oh, Miss Pacman, I would sex that bow right off your head. Eat those dots you naughty, naughty girl.
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Todd : I have to go, there's a breast reduction on the fourth floor... I'm gonna go try and stop it.
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Todd : The Todd appreciates hot, regardless of gender.
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Todd : That was really big of you to take the blame for Elliot. Just yesterday I really wanted to spank her.
Chris Turk : Why, did she mess up a patient for you, too?
Todd : No.
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Todd : Ladies, now that the Todd is a resident here he wants to make things clear so you don't have to wonder any more.
[points at each of the women]
Todd : Yes, yes, no, yes, no, and... yes, if I've been drinkin'.
Nurse Roberts : Come here, wonder bread.
Todd : What's up, doll?
Nurse Roberts : If you come this close again I will end you.
Todd : I'm changing you to a yes because you're feisty.