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Reviews
Poolman (2023)
movie no one needs to see
Watching this movie was like ordering a 100% irish ground beef burger with jalepinos, mozarella cheese, caramelized onions, lettuce on pickels and fries on a side, but when it finally arrives, 1 hour and 45 minutes after you ordered it, you hungrily bite into it and all you can taste is wet newspaper...and not just any newspaper, i'm talking last years edition of some high-school identity crisis project. Now you know what this movie is like. I love chris pine and his acting is always on point, so i waited for this movie to become available for 6 months at least, but this movie was hard to watch it was horrible. I mean acting was fine, i kinda feel like actors did exactly what they were told to do, and they did it well, but somehow this jagged piece of movie "performing" was not held well together by the story. I can see why directing wanted to be a bit quirky and all, but story was delivered in such a flat and unexiting way that i can't even describe it. Boring, pointless and silly (in a bad way).
Imawa no Kuni no Arisu (2020)
OMG, what absolute heap of trash! Do not watch if over 18!!
I want 20 hours of my life back!!!!!! I mean season 1 was half decent entertainment, but season two did nothing else but drag on and on and on and on....and on...and on, and kept trying to throw meaningful messages at the viewers but everything is so overacted and rediculous it's beyond comprehension. I've never watched such a horrible kids series tha just has nothing of value to offer. What a heap of trash this show is please do not waste time on this unless you are younger than 18 years old. Stay away from this sobbing teen emo drama with predictable plots and immature messaging. Stay away fols....
Gojira -1.0 (2023)
score: 8 minus 1
I never watched a godzilla movie before in my life, and don't really care for such monster movies as they are based on zero reality. However, this movie, to me anyway, was more about post-war japan and its effects on society it had.. and about family during such hardships. Acting is decent, effects are pretty good, but few major storyline flaws are hard to ignore. A monster that destroys buildings like houses of cards is unable to rip up a cable that drags him to the ocen floor? That is weak mate. Anyhow, I know that such details are not the most important thing in this type of movie, but it would be nice if directors nowadays cared about making their movies a bit more beliveable to today's viewrship.
LaRoy, Texas (2023)
slow, boring and below average in every way
I was really looking forward to this movie and waited 6 montsh to go and watch it, but all i got was a slow burning heap of trash that stank all the way to Jupiter. Do directors, or actors, or producers, fall in love with themselves or with their own work so that they lose all objectivity and ability to look at the finished probuct with a critical eye and say "hey, this is pretty bad, let's try and improve on it some more"?? I mean c'mon!! This movie has nothing to offer, nothing! I lasted 55 minutes, and I've been meaning to quit watching this after 20 minutes, before I just had to say enough is enough. This is one boring, sleepy, lazy movie that no one needs to see.
Fallout (2024)
shockingly amazing!!
Never heard of the Fallout video game in my life, not much of a gamer, but i love Walton's work and have been following his cereer so I decided to give this a go. With having no expectations or preconceived notions about what this should be like or what stpryline this whould fallow, this show is absolutely the best piece of TV entertainment I've seen in my life. I mean, acting was excellent by almost everyone, photograpy, CGI...everything was amazing. SOme of the reviewrs comment on editing, or directing, I have no such evaluation skills, but lemme telll you, this show is well worth your time....binge it!
Sugar (2024)
Noir mystery..but I am the victim!
BOOOOOORING!!!! I barely managed thru episode 3 and am at the moment struggling thru episode 4. Writing this while I watch is the actual puding (where the proof is, get it?). Anyhow, my interest is fading fast. My biggest issue at the moment is not how to talk this show down and convince you not to waste time, because I know you will give it a try, and perhaps you should, but how to come up with 400 more characters i need to write in order to get this posted. I still don't understand why our reviews have to be so "substantial" when nobody reads thru them to the end enyway? I wish they'd let us post video reviews, something like tik-tok :) wouldnt that be crazy, eh? Anyhoo, this tv series is super boring. Each epsiode should be no more than 10 minutes long. Quick update while I watch episode 5: this is absolute trash!
Damaged (2024)
total trash with few celeb actors trying to give it merit
Before, we used to have TV movies that watered down the quality of the movie offerings to the general public, but now we have all these online subscriber TV channels that fight to fill their slots with "quality" movies and this kind of trash is what we get. I mean I get it: you're trying to produce as many films as you can, but you have budget limitations. So, in essence, here is how it works: there is an abundance of scripts out there so you pick a 1/2 decent one for a few coin, you sign up a few big names for their name apeal but do not demand a lot of on-screen time for them so they can come cheap. So, you pick up 1 or 2 name actors, shoot their scenes over the weekend, and fill the rest of the movie with neatly arranged garbage and viola, you have a Netflix movie recipe for us two waste time on. Thank god I was ironing my laundry while watching this trash otherwise 2 hours would have been totally wasted. Avoid this guys, its just not good.
3 Body Problem (2024)
super smart people doing super stupid stuff
I lasted thro 2 1/2 episoed before turning this jibberish off. I'm ok with sci-fi stuff and other-worldy mumbo-jumbo, but when the plot requires super smart people to do super stupid things like allowing themself to get dragged into a video game, but they are playing because "it seems fun and interesting" without understanding how harmful it can be to them or what it does or where it comes from or how it works but taking huge risks with ther head is ok to them and a no-brainer, and all of this in order for the show to play out at all, that i have a problem with. Oh, and by the way, all the super smart poeple are young and sexy, well except one perhaps, and it becomes obvious who this is targeted to. Acting is half-baked, while the whole premise is on shaky legs. It's wonderfully intertwined and all, but when a show that wants to be super clever is based on a not so clever premise, as i said at the begining, then i'm done.
Sleeping Dogs (2024)
avarage at best, music tries hard to elevate the scenes but fails hard
Half way thru the movie killer is more than obvious, but that is not the problem. Music in the movie tries so hard to make boring and pointless scenes feel more dramatic and gives them extra length that just should not be there. The whole plot and characters could easily fit in a 25 minute short film, but stretching this below avarage flick to almost 2 hours should be criminally prosecuted. Took me 2 days to watch this movie it was so "captivating". Don't waste time on this flick, nothing new to see here, just your avarage "oh, I forgot" whodoneit that could have been much better. Over and out.
The Gentlemen (2024)
Lock, stock& 2 s.b. meets Snatch = Guy does what GUy does best
I love Guy Ritchie's UK underworld character depictions and quick & quirky dialogues, all mixed up with a bunch of strange and odd situations with weird stuff going on, drugs, violence, comedy with a cockney accent and an intangled plot. So, thats all typical Guy Ritchie stuff and one should not expect him deviating from what he does best. It's not everyone's cuppa, I hear you on that one, but for those who understand an artist's need for fingerprint impressions on his work, will know what to expect. So, you will enjoy it if you like abovementioned dyniamics in a TV series or a movie, but if you don't.....
Professor T (2021)
consistent performances, quality entertainment
Been waiting for a whole year (or more) till season 3 dropped and just ended up binging on it. It's what one could expect: an equally great continuation of a great show. In terms of whodoneits and general plots, yeah, i guess it's on par with what great shows usually deliver, but the added layer delivered by MIller and his mom are what I love the most. Story within a story within a story is what you can expect, so no, twists and turns were not unexpected. A lot will be made clearer, oh my dear viewer, by the end of season 3, but a lot will remain to be unwrapped in season 4. I hate leaftovers like that but one has to accept them, no choice in the matter. Fun is to be had watching the latest episodes and I envy you, my dear review reader, for having not seen season 3 yet.
Fake or Fortune? (2010)
Addictive and arguably the most compeling, mysterious and educational show EVER
Never ever, ever have I seen a show includes mystery, hystory, great naration, education, science and personal drama in such fantastic way! Crime, mystery and detective stories is what I love watching the most, but that hardly compares to this real-life dramas unwrapping in front of us and in the world of art and all of it with intrigue, science and excellent story telling. Alos, I can almost sense the tension between the two leads (art dealer and the art reporter), which kinda makes things funny a bit :) . I don't think that was intentional by the production house, but no love lost between them is palpable :). Anyhow, I highly recommend watching a few of the episodes for some art and hystory education, but trust me, you will get hooked.
Ricky Stanicky (2024)
quite a few good laughs
This is a comedy folks, not a science project so yes, it does have flaws. However, sum of all things in this movie is a fun time spent with a few rediculously funny moments. Cena did what Cena does, and Zac tries to be the serious one. It works for the most part and yes, there are a few dull moments...but weather thru those and you'll see that the flick is not that bad. If you re expecting the funniest flick of all times this isn't it. But a feel good story, with a few absolutely cracking moments can be found here. I did anyway. I have a fe more characters to write so I'll stretch this a bit. Done.
Land of Bad (2024)
absolute surprise of the century! well worth the watch
Took me by surprise how good this movie is. Not a huge fan of war stuff and all that rambo mambo-jumbo (see what i did there?), but this movie absolutely amazed me! I mean action was so real it blew me away. Dialogue was pure, nothing to heavy or overly dramatic, but action was intense, dramatic...and i could feel myself edging closer to the edge of my chair all the time. Well worth a watch and a total surprise! If you are a war action flick fan, this one you will love. Anyhow, i got few more characters left to write to post this. Now i think i am done...well almost, getting closer---and done!
Red Right Hand (2024)
very predictable and super boring
Had to watch golf on youtube while i watched this flick in order to keep myself entertained. Story development is soo, ho so predictable, it is insulting. Who wrote this? Some 12 year old who is not yet aware that there are thousands of movies with almost exact same plot? Can they not bring a bunch of semi-inteligent folk to sit at a table, maul over the script and say how worn out this storyline is before they go into production? I just feel like we are being let down buy some of the big name actors like Orlando who for some reason (money, obviously) decide to allow themselves to get involved with such high-school projects. Just a disgrace.
The Book of Clarence (2023)
It's a movie for chrissake! Oscar worthy performances here
If you are looking for bible accuracies etc.., go read the bible, this is a movie mate!! I see some harsh reviews here and not sure what they are all about. Did you forget that this is a movie? A piece of entertainment? An artistic impression and someone else's story? Anjoy it for chrissakes, pun intended (I liked that one so much I said it twice). This movie has some quirky humor, some great messaging and sure as heck some great acting. Cla'ance deserves an Oscar for this one, if you ask me. Well made movie, swith some fun and different elements to it, exceptional acting. Well worth your time.
The Underdoggs (2024)
Rating maybe a tad high, but hear me out
Yes, the score might seem a bit too high to you, but I rate this movie as a whole package: for its on-screen performance and also for its behind the scenes value. It just made it a whole lot more important to me as a viewer, and let me tell you why. Truth be told, I am probably not the targeted demographic for this movie. White, eastern-european male that doesn't know a first thing about American football, nor do I care, and definitely don't care about no rap or Snoop's music, however great it might be. However, I did end up watching this because of Snoop (I consider him a smart and capable individual based on general info and some of the interviews of him I heard) and Mike Epps (who's been cracking me up for over 3 decades now in various mad roles :). Mike often says crap thats just wrong but funny as hell. Anyhow, I digress. So, the movie is your usual underdog story sprinkled with a bit of thug coach attitude and crucial game coming up. All this is standard script, seen and done before, but at the very end of the movie you find out why making this movie makes sense, what drove people to make it and why it brings that added value I'm talking about.... and its even better because it comes in the end. Yeah, it is just another underdog story, but this one has an even better story behind it. Go Snoop, good on you mate for that! Oh yeah, did I mention that the swearing is off the charts in this? Didn't bother me none... just brought me closer to the way it probably really is.
Hubcap (2021)
i tried, i really did, but this is garbage!
I got fooled by some of the reviews saying "give it a chance" or "ridiculously entertaining", but those are shameless lies obviously written by cast or crew of this ridiculous piece of total poop. At first I thought this is a parody and its taking a mickey out of some popular culture or what-not, so I'll give it a chance and wait for some laughs. But lo and behold, nothing funny at all was ever said or done in this disaster of a flick. There are no jokes in this movie, nothing even close, just sadness, bad acting, horrible writing and despair. No horror, no action, no drama...nothing. Well, the hubcap threw a rock at someone at one point using a wooden stick and a garbage pale. Terrific! This most've been some kid's high school project but waited till the last minute and whipped something up over the weekend just to do something, and this is the result: an absolute pice of trash of a movie that does not deserve anyone's time, trust me! It's not worth the disk space it occupied on my hard drive for 2 hours I had it before it got forever deleted and sent to the wastelands of digital trash where it belongs.
Lift (2024)
new level of bad. gave up after 30 min.
Lame. Thats the key word for this movie, just lame. I love heist flicks, my favourite genre, but this is insulting. Horrific acting and dialogues written by high school kids that had some down time over the weekend. Felt like watching ocean's 11 wannabe with fairytale-ish con-job plotting that is so full of holes that only kids under 7 can actually consider possible. Worn out story premise that points the finger directly at writers and their inability, or lack of desire, to offer us something unique when they had a chance. I have 72 more characters to write and how it's only 19, and now: none!
The Painter (2024)
reviews over 2 are fake or posted by cast and crew
I watched exactly 20 minutes of this utter horrible trash bin of a movie and had to turn it off in disgust. I mean aren't production houses even making an effort any more? They just pump out generic non-descript horrible waste-of-time flicks to fill time slots on streaming services? Absolutely disgusting! I see what is actually going on: they hire one "name" actor and pay him really well for few minutes of acting so that they can plaster his name all over a low budget, super cheap, bottom of the barrel flick to make it more appealing to the masses, or let's call it their audience, who they obviously have no respect for since some genius actually approved this flick to be made and put of screen. I mean, COME ON!!!!!!!!! Stay away from this garbage folks, trust me.
Role Play (2024)
worn out story that tastes like old pizza cardboard box
Boooooring, unfunny, tired, slow, predictable movie that feels like a bag of old laundry that someone dumped on my head. Some of the laundry is still wet and smelled like pee, and some other pieces of clothing smelled like dog poo, dry cleaner's betrayal and horrific story writing. I understand that this was perhaps an attempt for Kaley Cuoco to get out from under the heavy shadow that is over her as a comedy side show actress, but this is just bad. I've given up after 40 minutes as there is nothing to see in this flick. Boring garbage laid down on a table filled with old socks and dirty newspapers with side trimmings of emotional despair and apathy..
Succession (2018)
cheap theatrics and white ppl everywhere all the time. S03/04 unwatchable
Season 4 was painfully horrible. Season 3 you could already feel the writers are stretching the material and main characters scheming for the sake of scheming just to make it "interesting". I only watched till the end because of Caulkin (Rom) as he made me blow my coffee thru my nose a few times with his horrible, but funny, jokes. Logan's main line was always "family first", while family members are always the one that constantly get swindled by him, and others, and lied to. Brothers, sister, cousins..everyone lies yet everyone keeps trusting each other. So, in essence, the whole show is based on how the family members keep trusting each other to make a deal for themselves and then keep conning each other and then keep trusting but keep getting conned but then trust again then get conned again and then trust and form alliances and then get conned again and so on. Silly writing based on exactly the same premise and pattern that no one in the entire family of oh-so-very-smart people seems to notice. Just poor.
The Company You Keep (2023)
far-fetched and naive stories full of holes the size of universe
Been meaning to stop watching this hot mess of a show since episode 2, but stayed in it just so I can see how bad it all ends and how Mr. Monk actually contributes (I love his work). The whole story and made-up con plays get from bad to worse as the show goes on, trust me. Stories are so far-fetched and impossible that its insulting to watch, but few cute faces try really hard to keep you engaged. Anyhow, I'm on episode 8 at the moment of writing this, and it physically hurts watching this. My goodness, this is so poorly written that i can actually envision how writers sit at a conference table, or in a room someplace, and just say "nah, don't worry about it, viewers are all stupid anyway". Save yourself some time, stay away from this cheap trash!
Bastarden (2023)
finally a movie that you can feel!
I love Mads' work, ever since i first saw him in a 007 movie, and he always delivers. I'm no movie critic, just a guy that loves to watch a good flick, but Mads always delivers intense performance, no matter be it a comedy or drama. Every character in this movie, as soon as they are introduced on the screen, shows layers and layers of their persona and its just incredible how they do it. Acting, by all of the actors, was absolutely superb! Within first few sentences of a character, you feel like you know their past, what drives them, why are they the way they are etc...just incredible. The whole movie is heavy with emotion you can cut with a knife, and I felt sucked into the story from minute 1. Thats what we need in a movie, engrossing entertainment, great acting and great stories, not agenda pushing. No sub-story here, just good 'ol acting and entertainment.
Thanksgiving (2023)
predictable, laughable and boring teen cringe show
My goodness, what ever possessed me to start watching this pile of utter garbage I will never know. Yes, some decent reviews did that to me, but do not trust those, trust me instead! See what I did there, eh? :) As far as horrors/thrillers go, this is bottom of the barrel. Predictable development leads you to first, then second, potential suspect, both with legitimate axes to grind, but we all know those are just decoys and the real killer is someone that will come totally from the left field, but still has a deep level motive. Yes, welcome to the usual suspense story unwrapping in most boring and predictable way imaginable. Lack of creativity from the writers leaves me feeling insulted for the 2 hours i invested in this utter pile of amateurish crap.